Divorce Demystified

More About Byron Katie & "The Work"


Loving What Is provides a method of evaluating your thoughts or resentments to determine whether they're TRUTH or just thoughts and stories you've told yourself.  Write down a thought (for example, "This shouldn't be happening." Then examine that thought using the four questions.

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know it's true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?

After you've investigated via the four questions, you're ready to use a "turnaround." A turnaround allows you to experience the thought turned inside-out. You can reframe the thought to its opposite ("This should be happening.") If your thought was "My spouse shouldn't have abandoned me," you can reframe it by stating its opposite, by relating it to the other, and to yourself.

In the YouTube video below, Byron Katie works through the process with volunteers from a prison population. It's called "The Prison of the Mind." (It's 55 minutes long, but it really lets you see how the process works. Not only that, the participants see themselves differently when they've worked through the process.
To investigate further
check out


Byron Katie's website.
The next Byron Katie presentation (1 hour, 3 minutes) is on RESENTMENT AND JEALOUSY.
For a shorter presentation, here you go!